Shall we dance?

I'm still here, shooting, studying, working, learning.. no free time, or not enough to take care of this little corner as I would like to do, but today it is a pretty nice day to give some minutes to my blog. I think I'm gonna use this pages to post and talk about my photos, just about now there's nothing else has much more importance in my life. In these months I've learned that if you have a real, solid, strong passion and goals, nothing can tear us apart, so I put myself completely into my job and what I love more. These are some photos from my mid term project.
Valentina was a perfect and beautiful model.

Enjoy.

Distance is the answer of everything

I was supposed to get up from my bed, take a quick shower and jump on the bus to go at Ile's house, a lasagna was waiting for me... but the whether outside didn't' help at all my laziness. Guess?! yes it's raining again... So I decided to stay home, clean a little bit the mess I have in my house, write a new post after ages on my blog, take a looooong and hot shower and then get ready to work (I fucking hate that restaurant!!!!!)
In these week I've been incredibly busy, I did all my mid terms (and YES I passed them), I'm also spending a lot of time in studio, and this is amazing, you have no idea what means for a photography student to shoot in studio, working with models, and light, creating sets and having fun... I could do it all day, every day. I'm learning a lot and this is the most important thing, I'm very happy of my Quality of Light class, my teacher is a great photographer and even thought we have always so many homework to do I feel I'm learning, which is fantastic!
These are some on my first studio shots, I know I have a lot to learn but you have no idea how they make me happy :)

Even if they look very simple photos behind them there are hours of work and setting, studio shooting is a long and hard process, but the satisfaction, even for simple portraits like those two, is unbelievable!!!

But... but .. but... this time I should say that photography and photos now are a huge part of my happiness but not the only one... finally after months and months of pieces of shit I think I found somebody special...

J.

He's pure concentrate of kindness, sweetness and simplicity.

He is that guy I've never thought I could stay with. We basically are the opposite, we like completely different things, we have different taste in almost everything, but his kindness left me speechless; he's a man from another time, he is a gentleman... something I thought it was impossible to find... but after a long and hard research, I made it... and yes he deserves all my honey and rainbow words :)

shit I'm kinda h...y (I won't say that work :P but I feel it!!!)

E.

The color of passion

Mijo

I would like to use this post to talk about all the news I have in my life, about him, J, maybe the biggest news, but I think he's only for me, he's the sweetest part of my life and I'm so jealous that I wanna keep it only for me.

I'll tell you only that it's been 4 months and he makes me happy.

He's so different, different form every body I've ever liked in my life, from me, from everything it was common, and this huge difference scares me but at the same time it makes me so happy I can't almost believe it :) ... I'm smiling!!!!

The photo above is part of his face :) and every time I look at it I stop 5 seconds to think about WHY MEN NEED SO LONG EYELASHES??? this is so unfair!!!!

He's pure.

Like a Snake

The second photo is part of my thigh tattoo... now it's healing and in 2 weeks I'm gonna do the last session, I CAN'T WAIT!
Ready for more photos, and video?
I wanna create a set for my last tattoo session :) Juan is gonna love me (or kill me?!)

Now I should get ready to work.. damn I'm so lazy..

E.

Viva Las Vegas

Venice Beach - California

Here I am again. I've been pretty busy last month, I had a friend visiting from Italy and we spent so much time traveling and visiting San Francisco (it was his first time in US, pretty exciting). We went in Vegas and SoCal by car... a suicide! SF - Las Vegas by car is more than 10 hours, on a road that is desert only, straight for miles and miles, just desert and nothing else. At least Las Vegas was so much fun! I can't believe there is a city like Vegas, a huge Disneyworld for adults, a fake city where everything is possible, where there's no time (I didn't see a watch in any of the places I saw), shows every day, every time, colors, lights, music, money.. money.. money.. it was crazy and I can't wait to go back, next time with my girls, and my brother... I'm sure he's gonna go crazy over there :)

Then we went to LA... thank God, Vegas - LA is only 4 hours.

Every time I go to LA I remember how I love SF...

LA is a waist of time, don't go over there, never. There's nothing to see, nothing to do, it's just bad.

After you saw the Walk of Fame, literally is the Hollywood Blvd., a dirty street, full of nuts, sexy shops, whores, some Starbucks and souvenir store, the Hollywood sign, the Universal Studios, LA is over... is boring and nasty.

Much prettier is Santa Monica or Venice... I have to say that I enjoyed these two small city right next to LA, mostly I loved the weather. It was so hot, almost like summer.. something I won't never see in SF, damn! 

But even though the weather was ugh much much better I still love my foggy city and I'm glad to be here again.

I'm also back to school again, and this time I wasn't ready. Seriously. I already know this semester is gonna be hard...

I'm glad I found somebody who's helping me to make my life better... 

E.

I know the sun must set to rise

I still see your face everywhere I go.

I can smell you, hear you voice. Everything we were is so deep inside me and it doesn't want to leave.

It's been almost 4 months and I'm still here thinking you were the one. But I know I'm damn wrong. You were so wrong. You were a mistake. That's what I'm trying to believe. Maybe one day I'm gonna win this war, because you create a war inside me, and now I'm falling apart. 

I see blurry, nothing is on focus, only your memory is so vivid and it pisses me off. I'm losing. I lost you and now I'm losing myself. 

When will all of this be over? 

If I could I'd like to delete my memory like Clementine. I should hate you. But I only hate myself because I'm not able to let you go, and it's too late. 

I'm under a stormy sky and I'm waiting for the sun. 

Because I know the sun must set to rise...

Non so che titolo dare a questo post... iniziamo bene :)

Oggi mi va di scrivere un post in italiano. Mi sono resa conto che è tantissimo che non lo faccio, ho preso troppo alla lettera il consiglio del mio ex insegnante di writing class: "fate un blog in Inglese!!" credo mi abbia aiutato, ma oggi sono davvero pigra, è il mio giorno off e di domenica non ho quasi voglia di collegare il cervello, nemmeno per parlare o scrivere in inglese.
La settimana passata è stata davvero dura. Pesante.
Sto preparando gli esami di Mid-Term e mi sembra di svalvolare, già dati i primi 2 e domani gli ultimi 2, speriamo bene.
Martedì scorso è stato il mio 29° compleanno 21° compleanno (LOL) e proprio mi è stato sul cazzo da morire, nemmeno mi va di parlare della brutta sensazione che è stata, parlerò invece del regalo che mi sono fatta per rendere quel giorno speciale... dico solo CANON EOS 5D MARK II. Il regalo più bello che potessi mai farmi. Dopo averla usata per un mese, non sono riuscita a farne più a meno, e così ho pensato che io e lei siamo fatte per stare insieme per sempre. Lei è fottutamente sexy!!!
Ora sembriamo la più bella delle coppie, sempre insieme, affiatate, l'una per l'altra... questa cosa fa tanto photography geek, ma che devo fare se non c'è nulla attualmente che ami di più? Nella mia vita ora come ora non c'è spazio per altro, e ogni cosa che faccio è relativa alla fotografia.. ma dio solo sa quanta roba sta bollendo in pentola!! Faccio un piccolissimo elenco di tutte le cose che dovrò fare:

• sto cercando casa! si si proprio una casetta nuova, per andare a vivere con le mie amiche, la rossa Cassandra e la bionda Ilenia, che voglio di più dalla vita? abbiamo trovato pure l'equilibrio nei colori. Problema è che a SF non è affatto facile trovare una casa carina, in un quartiere carino,con prezzi decenti, qui gli affitti sono così alti che mi viene da piangere solo all'idea, cmq oggi ne vado a vedere una e speriamo bene :)
• pian pianino dovrò comprare pezzi mancanti alla mia vita da fotografa quali: un nuovo cavalletto, la mia nuova bambina è troppo pesante per il mio cavalletto economico, così pensavo di prenderne uno davvero buono, peccato che anche lì la cifra sia indecente. Inoltre mi servirà un flash e non è che mi accontento di quello scamuffo, io voglio il meglio ergo voglio lo speedlite 580EX ii, altra bella cifra considerevole. 

Senza poi parlare del fatto che ho sempre le mie passioni: shopping (siiii sono anche io una ragazza) e tattoo... già ne ho in mente qualcuno nuovo... ma cazzo perché tutto quello che amo costa così tanto?

Ohhh... mi sono scordata di dirvi che anche questo mese sono zitella, si si non c'è nulla di nuovo all'orizzonte, allergia agli uomini, mi annoiano a morte, resterò sola io e la mia canon, che è una gran bella solitudine.... ma dio se mi mancano le coccole.. anche il mio Danbo ha trovato un amichetto da coccolare... io invece mi attacco al cazz... non ne farò una tragedia, ma inizio ad averne le palle piene ^_^
Detto ciò mi vado a fare una bella doccia depurativa, mi vesto, mi faccio super figa (ahahah) e me ne vado a vedere la casetta prima, e poi a fare foto ad una Tattoo Convencion... che incontrassi un bel tatuatore figo e mi innamoro..

Peace gente...
E.

LVE.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

- Steve Jobs -

just 5 seconds..

Look at you!!!! I have a new layout, pretty awesome, isn't it?
No time to talk today, work is waiting for me..
but i promise i'll be back soon.

News.... MUSE...

Hello everyone! how's life going? mine is getting busier...

have a couple of things to talk about today, so let's get started...

I got a new job!!!!

today was my first day at PERBACCO, an italian restaurant in the financial district, a fine dining restaurant were i have to host, wearing like a woman (and that's the real bet for me!!!) and follows tones of rules... it's gonna be hard, I already know but it's a challenge and i'm gonna try.. today i started my training and i hope i did it well, now i have 2 books to study, books about employees rules and it sounds crazy to me....

...but we will see, the most hard thing i have to do is being careful about tattoos and piercings... i have to hide all of them and i hate it because it's like hiding part of me, part of what i am.. but i have to, it's a good place to work, and yes i need money..

I have to do 4 more days of training and then i'm going to start my regular shifts, I'll have 3 days lunch time to start, so i can still work at Amarena, I won't leave my restaurant, i love it and i'll try to do some double shift, then I have to see how everything can works together with my school...

beeeecause I'm going to start the fall semester september 1st!!!! I'm super excited and happy, it's the fist time in my life i'm happy to go back to school :) i'm going to take 4 classes: photoshop, visualization, color photography and composition, they sounds awesome and i can't wait.. seriously!

Last things i want to talk about is what i did last saturday..........and i'll say only one word... MUSE!!!!!!!!!

I saw them at the Outside Lands Festival here in San Francisco, and i swear to God i've never seen a show like that in my entire life.. it was more than amazing, more than great... it was just perfect! They are unbelievable on stage, Matt is fantastic, I'm totally in love with him! I lost my voice singing all the songs, I was almost crying more than one time, I don't even know how to explain what their music makes me feel, the only thing i know it's that i love 'em!

This is a little video I took when they were performing my favorite song, it' s a crappy video but that moment will be in my heart forever...

Well.. now i have to study my paper work and get ready for dinner with my friends...

wish me some luck because it's going to start a super busy and stressful time of my life!!!

Peace.

I love my room!

Finally it's ready!!! I have everything I need in my room... and I love it!!!

After one year and 7 months I could see my room perfect :) Yesterday i went to Ikea and i got a new desk (a m a z i n g) and some other stuff, now I have my work station, damn I spent the entire semester studying on my bed and my poor back is still insulting me, but now I have what I always wanted, a white milky desk!

To be an Ikea desk it's kinda expensive, but whatever, it's more than cute, it's perfect in my room and i feel really proud to have the room i wanted, made it buying everything by myself, the satisfaction is too high :) i feel proud of me when i can do stuff like that...

Now I'm working a lot, my boss is in Italy and i'm working every day (almost without day off) so I saved some money to get my milky desk... now my new goal is a new lens, of course.. damn life why are you so expensive and we have to work as hell to have what we need?

I was thinking that for the first time I miss school... it's weird, I feel weird! I never EVER had these kind of thoughts in my whole life, and now that I'm in summer break I miss having class... I mean, I love doing nothing and rolling my body on my bed, but I feel my life incomplete without the Academy and that's AWESOME!!! I've never been so happy to study and yes it's great!! Of course I didn't stop shooting, I had a great photoshoot last week during a tattoo session, it was so much fun, I can't believe the Blackheart crew let me shoot in their studio, the first thing you read on their wall is NO PHOTO!!! so i felt pretty lucky (you can see some pics on my flickr if you want). Now I'm already thinking about a new photoset, maybe I'll do some self portrait soon, I need to work on new stuff with photoshop and I always prefer to use myself to experiment new stuff ...

Now I can enjoy the rest of my day off (and of course the weather sucks!!! fml) don't know how yet, but I'm glad I can relax a bit..

later people

xoxo

E.

I'm sorry SoCal.. but I'm in love for the City by the Bay....

Every time I go visit SoCal I think how am I lucky to live in San Francisco!!!!

I spent my last week end between Los Angeles, Laguna Beach (Orange County) and Indio, I went over there to take some photos for a wedding, and yes it was fun and nice, but after one day I missed my city.

Everything is so different, if you don't have a car in SoCal you are OUT, it's impossible to go anywhere, also I dislike the people, they are all blond, the girls look like many Barbies and the guys are their perfect Ken...

I think i'll be sick of a place like that after 2 days... Thank God I'm here...

Yesterday when i saw the Bay Bridge i felt i was home!!! it's the first time i have this feeling, maybe San Francisco took my heart so deeply, everything make me happy, busy, crazy, sad, fun is here... if i could stay with my family here it will be perfect.. but i cant complain, this city make me feel free and living here is the only think i really want now.

Well... now im in my bed, ready to start this long day... i have to do a lot of homework and tonight im going to the AT&T park to watch a baseball game, San Francisco GIANTS vs Los Angeles DODGERS, it's gonna be so much fun, im never been to the stadium to watch a baseball game, actually i dont know anything about baseball, but im sure it will be great... of course ill be there to take as many pics i can :) im so boring... everything in my life is around photography hahah... but tonight it will be a great night to drink (that's what Americans do when they go to the stadium lol!)

So now it's time to start this day...

good morning San Francisco! i dont remember if I already told you today that I'm in love with you...?!

E.

Redemption

Let's start over again

Why can't we start it over again?

Just let us start it over again

And we'll be good
This time we'll get it...
We'll get it right

It's our last chance to forgive ourselves

..all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy..

...this is almost my face right now after I spent the entire day on my books, studying for the midterm, now I'm totally powerless, my eyes are so dry that I can feel my contacts everytime I close and open them, I didnt have time to eat anything, just breakfast this morning, and after all I feel I'm not ready for tomorrow, I'm scared and I dont know really what I'm going to do, it's the first time for me, the only thing I know is that the midterm is damn important... almost like the final exam...
Tomorrow I have Fundamentals of Photography test, Digital Photography on Thursday and History of Film on Friday... History of Photo and Concept will be next week... I'm praying, eventhough I dont know who... just hoping that my brain it's going to work properly tomorrow.
This time of my life is not the best I remember, too many things to do, too many things spinning on my head, too many questions without an answer, I feel like I'm walking alone and I'm fighting for something I'll never have, maybe...
why people prefer playing and hiding their feelings instead of talking to each other and live for real???? I dont understand why and it makes me feel sick!!!!!!
I feel those stupid butterflies in my stomach, but they dont fly, they are biting and scratching me and I cant do anything, everything I do it's not enough...

Please wish me luck for this week :) I need it..
and now I think I need to eat...

E.

Mad World...

I'm still alive :)
finally after 20 days i found some time to write a post on my blog!
My life is going too fast and im always too busy i cant take care of my little diary as id like to...but now im here... so...
my student life is great, i love AAU and even though it's pretty tough im doing all my best, stuying hard to keep my goals, this is all i want and all i have to do, now the most important thing is thinking about my future! 3 days ago i did my first assignment for Fundamentals of Photography and i got an A+ ... you should look at my smiley face at that moment, my teacher told me a lot of great things and i felt soo happy i was almost crying lol and after a good grade my motivation is huge! I'm born to take pics and i dont need anything else :)
My personal life is pretty good...
My sentimental life sucks...
i tried, i was almost happy again.. but i lost it... dont know why, i didnt get it, im so disappointed, so empty, maybe it's true.. im too self absorbed to figure out what other people feels.. it's the meanest thing somebody told me.. cant stop thinking about that, about who told me that.. but what can i do? I'm busy, maybe too busy, my school comes first, i must think about my future, and im kicking my ass to do it.. im just sad because i thought it could works, but it didnt... and i lost somebody i really liked after long time... now im trying to turn the page, but my mind is still there...
But the show must go on... so i'm still running, and running as fast as i can.. i have to leave out all the rest right now, maybe it sounds selfish but i dont have any choice. Me first, my life, my school, my future...got shit to do... then im gonna find time to think about somebody else... but yeah, i miss you... hope to find you again in another time of my life...
Cant never stop thinking about that day... we were sitting in front of each others, looking at each others, and we couldnt do anything, it was the wrong moment, in the wrong place... we were singing that song... together... we were so close... and so far... we were so wrong but it was one of the best moment i can remember...
the more you cant have something, the more you want something...

2/14/2011

LOVE WILL TEAR US APART...

San Francisco i'm coming!!!!!!!

check-in on line: done.
luggage: done.
I'm ready to leave, again.

Tomorrow morning @ 7.50 i have my flight for London, one hour in Heathrow and than straight to San Francisco, I'll be there @ 1.30 pm pacific time, 10.30 pm italian time.. Just 13 days in my hometown with my family, not easy days at all, I mean I was really happy to see my family, my bro, my friends, but I found my grandma really sick, seeing her in that way made me feel too bad... i don't know what i have to hope for her... hope she's gonna stop suffering soon...
btw i'm happy to go back home, i'm happy to start studing again, January 17th is close and i have the TOEFL and i'm super ready, also i miss my "family" over there, all my friends, i really miss my own life that is not here anymore. My only desire is seeing my brother soon, i'm gonna miss him too much...
As always i'm super scared of the flight so cuddles are appreciated :)
See you soon from San Fran...

E.

Bye bye 2010

2010: probably one of the most important year of my life, everything is changed, me for first, my life... it started in one of the worst way ever, but only when you lose everything you can fight to have everything back, and when you do it alone is 1000 times better!
I had a lot of goals and I did them all, and I'm still doing them... I found a new house, a job, I learned (and still learning) another lenguage, I made amazing friends, laughing, incredible experiences, a lot of mistakes that teach me how do better. I learned that not only italian men are assholes but they are all the same everywhere :P, I learned that somethimes being a bitch is better than being too good. Now I know how to love me, I tasted how is amazing being a bit selfish.
I gained weight (shit!) but my family and all of my friends told me that I'm better now. I ate many different foods, I drank a lot, maybe too much :)
I took pictures everywhere, always with my baby, the only thing makes me feel alive, the only thing I'll never stop doing.
I realized a dream, I enrolled at the academy of Art, photography class, it was my dream before moving from Italy, I spent one year but I made it!
I found special friends and some stupid people (but they are everywhere LOL)...
I think I lost her, who I always thought was my best friend, my sister.. this is the only thing makes me feel really disappointed...
I got a new tattoo!!!!! I learned how to fly alone and I'm still learning because even though I feel proud of me somethimes I have to learn more and more...
New goals for this 2011 is coming: STUDY! photography and English better, find a better job, of course I hope to start working as a photographer, I hope in an intership with some good photographer, and some dreams I don't want to tell you, but I promise I'll try to realize :)

So... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! have fun tonight wherever you are, obviously my mind and my heart are with my friends in San Francisco, I miss you!!!!!
See you in 2011!!!!

Love
E.

Project 365...

... how to take a photo a day and see your life in a whole new way.

Im in love for this project (click here for more information: Project 365) and i really like to join it. Do you know it? anybody had already join it? I think it's an amazing idea to take memories of your life every day, to improve your ability with your camera and to share part of you and your life to everybody.
I think im gonna start it, im just scared because it takes a lot of time but id like to try it :)
She is my inspiration and also she's a great photographer: Michelle Huynh.
What do you think about it?

Now i have just to find a good day to start my Project 365 :)

E.

High hopes

... now i know why i cant fall in love for anybody...
cause im already in love with you...

I dont know if you can figure out what i feel...
have you ever found a place where you can be who you really are? a place where you can be complete just because you are free to do everything makes you feel better?
That's why i love this city! That's why i dont think im gonna go back to my country even if i love my hometown, because here i found myself and i spent 27 years of my life looking for the real Eleonora and now i dont wanna lose my freedom again...
i dont know if im 100% happy, but im conscious of me and that's the important now...
maybe it sounds selfish, but for the first time in my life im thinking only about me... and its fantastic!!!!

E.

P.s. Now i can be your friend... and im proud to do it :)

The Unseen Sea

Ebbene si ho bigiato la scuola stamattina... troppo stanca, troppo sonno e troppa voglia di restare nel letto a fare nulla, la mia frequenza è ottima quindi un giorno ogni tanto posso anche fare vacanza...poi mi devo ancora riprendere dalla serata di ieri sera... se ci penso mi fa un effetto così strano... cena a casa con Nicole, Oscar (il suo fidanzato) e Christian (il mio... boh...baby boy)
Ore 6.00 siamo andate a fare la spesa per una cena made in Italy con i fiocchi... tanto per insegnare a sti yankee come si mangia :P, antipasto con prosciutto San Daniele e melone (sono rimasta sconvolta dal prezzo del prosciutto... 12$ per 12 fette... ASSURDO!!!!!! mix di formaggi con pane alle noci e poi pasta al forno con zucchine, pomodori, piselli e mozzarella, con tanto di besciamella fatta in casa...il tutto condito con del buon vino rosso... ovviamente hanno mangiato come dei maialini eheh altro che "Alfredo sauce" che poi vorrei tanto scoprire chi minchia è Alfredo!
Finita la cena siamo andati a San Pablo, un paese a nord di SF a giocare al Casinò... dove per mancanza di pecunia ho solo potuto fare 2 partitine alla slot machine, ma i nostri uomini hanno dato fondo al loro budget con un bilancio di 160$ persi da Christian al tavolo di Black Jack e 100$ persi da Oscar alle slot... per fortuna che non è una cosa che si fa spesso perchè finiremmo a culo per aria in breve tempo...
A parte i soldi sputtanati mi sono divertita davvero tanto, è bello stare con persone che ti fanno sentire così senza pensieri, ogni tanto la leggerezza fa riscoprire piaceri così semplici che troppo spesso diamo per scontati... e poi svegliarsi la mattina con un cucciolo che ti stringe a se e ti accarezza è così meravigliosamente bello... un piacere che avevo quasi dimenticato e che ora penso proprio di meritare...

E.


Lascio un video che ho già pubblicato sulla mia pag di facebook... l'ho visto 5 volte stamattina... spero vi aiuti a capire qualcuno dei motivi per cui questa città mi ha rubato il cuore...