Hola everyone, it's been a while, hope y'all are fine and enjoying the summer... or if you live in SF I'm sorry because we have no summer and we are not suppose to enjoy anything ( of course if you like cold, wind and fog, you are in the right place in the right moment)...
I have been pretty busy with my new job which I like, finally I'm getting closer to my coworkers, of course they're not Nicole but she was much more than just a coworker, of course the cook is not MY cook, but it's fine, changing is good and everything seems to be ok.
I was thinking to write this post about a topic I really want to talk about: having a baby, kids, children.. figli..
Ok, first of all, just to be clear, I'm not pregnant!
then we can keep talking.. I was noticing how a lot of my friends, a lot!!!!, from the high school, just people I met long time ago, but part of my generation, is getting married and/or is having kids...one, or two... jeez!!!!!
But guys, friends, are you ready, for real, to have that kind of life? Is it your job and financial situation that good to let you have multiple kids around? to create a family?
WOW so I'm thinking now, it's bullshit when I read that in Italy there is no job, no money, etc etc... I still remember when my mom had my brother, she was spending sooooo much for everything!!! Diapers, milk, specific food, specific soap, medicine, doctors, stroller, car seat, clothes etc etc etc etc.......
Let's say this, I'm not a big fan of kids, I like 'em for 10 mins, then when they start crying or yelling or whatever things related to their world, I'd like to choke 'em :) .. ok I'm not that mean, but seriously I don't see myself with a kid, I can't even think of myself with a "little monster" in my arms, and it's weird to say I'm really good with them, I was a great baby sitter when I was in Italy, for a lots of my little cousins, for the two kids of my friend Wanda, but NO NO NO I don't feel that damn desire to be a mom!
I have no time to take care of my stuff, my life is so messy, I'm still studying, I have a crazy schedule at work, I don't even know where I'm going to spend my life, seriously I don't know if my life is going to be here, back in Italy or somewhere else, I know for sure that I want to travel, I hope my job is going to help me out to do this, but NO again I have tons of projects and have a baby is not one of them..
Some of my friends told me I'm cynic and cold, that I won't never be a woman if I won't be a mom, that I won't never be complete, and my face was WHAT??? WTF!!!! I won't be a woman without a yelling kid around??? well this is not my idea!! I think I'm a great woman, I'm a hard worker, I know what means the word SACRIFICE and I'm breaking my back to accomplice my goals, I have a man I love, and he loves me too, I think I make him happy, I think I could be an amazing soulmate, but I just don't want have kids... am I so weird? am I not a real woman for that?
Well, I'm so glad we are allowed to have different opinions, maybe one day I'm going to change my mind, maybe one day I'm going to be happy and ready for a family.. but now let me tell you, FUCK NO!!!!!!
Now you are the weird one for me and it won't make me feel bad if you think I am the monster.
With love,
E.
