Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Non so che titolo dare a questo post... iniziamo bene :)

I'll stop the world and melt with you


Oggi mi va di scrivere un post in italiano. Mi sono resa conto che è tantissimo che non lo faccio, ho preso troppo alla lettera il consiglio del mio ex insegnante di writing class: "fate un blog in Inglese!!" credo mi abbia aiutato, ma oggi sono davvero pigra, è il mio giorno off e di domenica non ho quasi voglia di collegare il cervello, nemmeno per parlare o scrivere in inglese.
La settimana passata è stata davvero dura. Pesante.
Sto preparando gli esami di Mid-Term e mi sembra di svalvolare, già dati i primi 2 e domani gli ultimi 2, speriamo bene.
Martedì scorso è stato il mio 29° compleanno 21° compleanno (LOL) e proprio mi è stato sul cazzo da morire, nemmeno mi va di parlare della brutta sensazione che è stata, parlerò invece del regalo che mi sono fatta per rendere quel giorno speciale... dico solo CANON EOS 5D MARK II. Il regalo più bello che potessi mai farmi. Dopo averla usata per un mese, non sono riuscita a farne più a meno, e così ho pensato che io e lei siamo fatte per stare insieme per sempre. Lei è fottutamente sexy!!!
Ora sembriamo la più bella delle coppie, sempre insieme, affiatate, l'una per l'altra... questa cosa fa tanto photography geek, ma che devo fare se non c'è nulla attualmente che ami di più? Nella mia vita ora come ora non c'è spazio per altro, e ogni cosa che faccio è relativa alla fotografia.. ma dio solo sa quanta roba sta bollendo in pentola!! Faccio un piccolissimo elenco di tutte le cose che dovrò fare:

  • sto cercando casa! si si proprio una casetta nuova, per andare a vivere con le mie amiche, la rossa Cassandra e la bionda Ilenia, che voglio di più dalla vita? abbiamo trovato pure l'equilibrio nei colori. Problema è che a SF non è affatto facile trovare una casa carina, in un quartiere carino,con prezzi decenti, qui gli affitti sono così alti che mi viene da piangere solo all'idea, cmq oggi ne vado a vedere una e speriamo bene :)
  • pian pianino dovrò comprare pezzi mancanti alla mia vita da fotografa quali: un nuovo cavalletto, la mia nuova bambina è troppo pesante per il mio cavalletto economico, così pensavo di prenderne uno davvero buono, peccato che anche lì la cifra sia indecente. Inoltre mi servirà un flash e non è che mi accontento di quello scamuffo, io voglio il meglio ergo voglio lo speedlite 580EX ii, altra bella cifra considerevole. 
Senza poi parlare del fatto che ho sempre le mie passioni: shopping (siiii sono anche io una ragazza) e tattoo... già ne ho in mente qualcuno nuovo... ma cazzo perché tutto quello che amo costa così tanto?

Ohhh... mi sono scordata di dirvi che anche questo mese sono zitella, si si non c'è nulla di nuovo all'orizzonte, allergia agli uomini, mi annoiano a morte, resterò sola io e la mia canon, che è una gran bella solitudine.... ma dio se mi mancano le coccole.. anche il mio Danbo ha trovato un amichetto da coccolare... io invece mi attacco al cazz... non ne farò una tragedia, ma inizio ad averne le palle piene ^_^
Detto ciò mi vado a fare una bella doccia depurativa, mi vesto, mi faccio super figa (ahahah) e me ne vado a vedere la casetta prima, e poi a fare foto ad una Tattoo Convencion... che incontrassi un bel tatuatore figo e mi innamoro..

Peace gente...
E.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Freaking out..



Well...I'm still alive, but i'm pretty tired (Forrest Gump docet!) ...
I'm turning into the last two weeks of this first semester and I'm working on my finals, it's tough, i'm stressed out, i'd like to sleep a bit more, i'd like to hang out more and i can't wait to spend some days doing NOTHING! after one year and a half studying no stop i think i need and i deserve a vacation! I don't care where, i only need to rest...
i'm also scared because tomorrow i have my first final test and i don't even know what i have to review, i'm doing again and again all the same things that i'm sick of everything, by the way i hope it's gonna be ok.
I'm also looking for a new job, yeah after one year at Amarena i think it's time to change, i like that place, it's nice and quite but i need more money, my school it's too expensive and i can't kick my ass working only to pay my bills and nothing else.. i need to enjoy my life a bit.. Right now i don't have so much time to think about my social life, yea i hang out but i don't have so much time to do all the things i'd like to do, but the summer break is close and i'm hella happy!
Now other news, i told you my social life is not that good, and i definitely turn the page with him.. i feel sad cause i think i made a big mistake, i overestimated someone who didn't deserve my feelings and it makes me feel really upset with myself.. but we learn from mistakes... i hope...
Sunday morning it happened something fantastic... i spent 3 hours on skype with Roger, i can still feel the same every time i talk to him, almost 3 years ago he made me feel alive again... now i wish to hug him again only for a second and relive all we had that summer, one of the most beautiful summer i have ever had! I hate being so far, but i'm sure we're not going to forget anything about what we felt and still feel for each others..
Anyway... now it's time to cook something... good night fellas! Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 25, 2011

weird thoughts

I was thinking... why in SF most of the guys are crazy for mustache??? actually I like'em too.. but here there is an obsession with mustache.. I saw mustache on guys, glasses, cups, t-shirt, patches, tattoos, girls with fake mustaches.. well.. who knows.. this is only one of my weird thoughts...

Finally I'm on spring break!!!
Actually it's not the best spring break ever, because of this shitty weather first of all and also because I'm still working... so it's not a real vacation :( but whatever... I can sleep a little bit and it means a lot now...
I decided to buy something special to me!!!!! A new pair of inline skates yay!!!! after loooong time I'll start skating again, I'm so happy about that, it was a big passion for me, and now it's time to do something special and think only about me again. I cant wait to run as a crazy with my new skates with Nicole... the ocean, the wind, the sun... so Californian!!!!!
I have to buy also a lighting set for a new assignment for school... Im gonna build a studio in my bedroom hahah.. but I'm still looking for something cheap, and as you know anything about photography is cheap (goddamnit!!)
I have few days to work on 2 different projects and I have no ideas at all!!! OMG it's frustrating.. sometimes i'd like to do only what I like.. but now photography is not just a passion, it's also my job and what I'm studying and somethimes it's not that fun...

I need to say GRAZIE to my mom for the beautiful photo she sent me, a photo with my family and my grandma...
Nonna mi manchi tanto, spero tu mi stia sempre accanto... ovunque tu sia... sei sempre nel mio cuore...

...and now I have to think about photos... about me... and that's it.
no more time for kids..

E.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Redemption

Let's start over again
Why can't we start it over again?

Just let us start it over again

And we'll be good
This time we'll get it...
We'll get it right

It's our last chance to forgive ourselves


Friday, March 4, 2011

Mad World...

I'm still alive :)
finally after 20 days i found some time to write a post on my blog!
My life is going too fast and im always too busy i cant take care of my little diary as id like to...but now im here... so...
my student life is great, i love AAU and even though it's pretty tough im doing all my best, stuying hard to keep my goals, this is all i want and all i have to do, now the most important thing is thinking about my future! 3 days ago i did my first assignment for Fundamentals of Photography and i got an A+ ... you should look at my smiley face at that moment, my teacher told me a lot of great things and i felt soo happy i was almost crying lol and after a good grade my motivation is huge! I'm born to take pics and i dont need anything else :)
My personal life is pretty good...
My sentimental life sucks...
i tried, i was almost happy again.. but i lost it... dont know why, i didnt get it, im so disappointed, so empty, maybe it's true.. im too self absorbed to figure out what other people feels.. it's the meanest thing somebody told me.. cant stop thinking about that, about who told me that.. but what can i do? I'm busy, maybe too busy, my school comes first, i must think about my future, and im kicking my ass to do it.. im just sad because i thought it could works, but it didnt... and i lost somebody i really liked after long time... now im trying to turn the page, but my mind is still there...
But the show must go on... so i'm still running, and running as fast as i can.. i have to leave out all the rest right now, maybe it sounds selfish but i dont have any choice. Me first, my life, my school, my future...got shit to do... then im gonna find time to think about somebody else... but yeah, i miss you... hope to find you again in another time of my life...
Cant never stop thinking about that day... we were sitting in front of each others, looking at each others, and we couldnt do anything, it was the wrong moment, in the wrong place... we were singing that song... together... we were so close... and so far... we were so wrong but it was one of the best moment i can remember...
the more you cant have something, the more you want something...


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

San Francisco i'm coming!!!!!!!

check-in on line: done.
luggage: done.
I'm ready to leave, again.

Tomorrow morning @ 7.50 i have my flight for London, one hour in Heathrow and than straight to San Francisco, I'll be there @ 1.30 pm pacific time, 10.30 pm italian time.. Just 13 days in my hometown with my family, not easy days at all, I mean I was really happy to see my family, my bro, my friends, but I found my grandma really sick, seeing her in that way made me feel too bad... i don't know what i have to hope for her... hope she's gonna stop suffering soon...
btw i'm happy to go back home, i'm happy to start studing again, January 17th is close and i have the TOEFL and i'm super ready, also i miss my "family" over there, all my friends, i really miss my own life that is not here anymore. My only desire is seeing my brother soon, i'm gonna miss him too much...
As always i'm super scared of the flight so cuddles are appreciated :)
See you soon from San Fran...

E.

Friday, November 12, 2010

High hopes

In love with you...

... now i know why i cant fall in love for anybody...
cause im already in love with you...

I dont know if you can figure out what i feel...
have you ever found a place where you can be who you really are? a place where you can be complete just because you are free to do everything makes you feel better?
That's why i love this city! That's why i dont think im gonna go back to my country even if i love my hometown, because here i found myself and i spent 27 years of my life looking for the real Eleonora and now i dont wanna lose my freedom again...
i dont know if im 100% happy, but im conscious of me and that's the important now...
maybe it sounds selfish, but for the first time in my life im thinking only about me... and its fantastic!!!!

E.

P.s. Now i can be your friend... and im proud to do it :)

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails