Shall we dance?

I'm still here, shooting, studying, working, learning.. no free time, or not enough to take care of this little corner as I would like to do, but today it is a pretty nice day to give some minutes to my blog. I think I'm gonna use this pages to post and talk about my photos, just about now there's nothing else has much more importance in my life. In these months I've learned that if you have a real, solid, strong passion and goals, nothing can tear us apart, so I put myself completely into my job and what I love more. These are some photos from my mid term project.
Valentina was a perfect and beautiful model.

Enjoy.

Pretty in Pink

Pink is the color of passion, yeah!!!
An amazing song by the Aerosmith used to say that and I believe is true, with my new style I feel so HOT!!!!
Yeah and I'm not even close to be crazy (I'm mean, just a  little bit) but it's incredible how just a color can range my mood, my new hair makes me feels sooo good!!!!
I did my hair pink because I wanted to celebrate my finals, yes I'm finally done with them and now I'm in vacation. V A C A T I O N!!!! this word sounds so sweet :))))
My finals were very good, sometimes I can't believe myself how I can be productive when I'm under pressure, also I got the compliments from my quality of light teacher for my photos and the whole semester and his words were better than all the A+ I can get in my entire carrier.
Now, I'm trying to sleep a little, trying to eat a little more, trying to take my life back, but I won't take any vacation from my camera, and actually I'm about to go shooting right now for a friend's bday party, I hope to do not fall asleep while I'm shooting..

Other big news, I may have a new job.... but but but I will talk about it when I'm 100% sure :)

E.

P.S. I'm gonna write soon a new post all about the Google scholarship I won, it deserves an entire post :P

Distance is the answer of everything

I was supposed to get up from my bed, take a quick shower and jump on the bus to go at Ile's house, a lasagna was waiting for me... but the whether outside didn't' help at all my laziness. Guess?! yes it's raining again... So I decided to stay home, clean a little bit the mess I have in my house, write a new post after ages on my blog, take a looooong and hot shower and then get ready to work (I fucking hate that restaurant!!!!!)
In these week I've been incredibly busy, I did all my mid terms (and YES I passed them), I'm also spending a lot of time in studio, and this is amazing, you have no idea what means for a photography student to shoot in studio, working with models, and light, creating sets and having fun... I could do it all day, every day. I'm learning a lot and this is the most important thing, I'm very happy of my Quality of Light class, my teacher is a great photographer and even thought we have always so many homework to do I feel I'm learning, which is fantastic!
These are some on my first studio shots, I know I have a lot to learn but you have no idea how they make me happy :)

Even if they look very simple photos behind them there are hours of work and setting, studio shooting is a long and hard process, but the satisfaction, even for simple portraits like those two, is unbelievable!!!

But... but .. but... this time I should say that photography and photos now are a huge part of my happiness but not the only one... finally after months and months of pieces of shit I think I found somebody special...

J.

He's pure concentrate of kindness, sweetness and simplicity.

He is that guy I've never thought I could stay with. We basically are the opposite, we like completely different things, we have different taste in almost everything, but his kindness left me speechless; he's a man from another time, he is a gentleman... something I thought it was impossible to find... but after a long and hard research, I made it... and yes he deserves all my honey and rainbow words :)

shit I'm kinda h...y (I won't say that work :P but I feel it!!!)

E.

The color of passion

Mijo

I would like to use this post to talk about all the news I have in my life, about him, J, maybe the biggest news, but I think he's only for me, he's the sweetest part of my life and I'm so jealous that I wanna keep it only for me.

I'll tell you only that it's been 4 months and he makes me happy.

He's so different, different form every body I've ever liked in my life, from me, from everything it was common, and this huge difference scares me but at the same time it makes me so happy I can't almost believe it :) ... I'm smiling!!!!

The photo above is part of his face :) and every time I look at it I stop 5 seconds to think about WHY MEN NEED SO LONG EYELASHES??? this is so unfair!!!!

He's pure.

Like a Snake

The second photo is part of my thigh tattoo... now it's healing and in 2 weeks I'm gonna do the last session, I CAN'T WAIT!
Ready for more photos, and video?
I wanna create a set for my last tattoo session :) Juan is gonna love me (or kill me?!)

Now I should get ready to work.. damn I'm so lazy..

E.

News form 2012

First session thighs tattoo by Juan Puente @ BlackHeart Tattoo

2012 is started, and yes it's gonna be a very intense and busy year like the past 2011. A year of work, school, photos, passions, friends, love (I always hope in love.... hopeless :P)
This month started in a very good way, good money at work... yes they are always welcome...
A new tattoo (photo above!). I decided it was time for some more ink (my addiction is dangerous) so I started a new one on my thighs. This is a photo from the first session, I actually did the first one right before Christmas (it was my personal Christmas present awww), but it's gonna be a very long work, maybe next week I'm gonna do the second session. I won't tell you what is it...not yet, you will see the work in progress session by session, I'm also doing some videos of my sessions and I think I'm gonna put them all together to create a reportage of my new work. I chose Juan Puente for my legs, he's great.. no, more than great! You already saw many photos of Juan, but always during other people sessions, this time I wanted him all for me, and I'm absolutely happy, he's doing a fantastic job and I'm soooo proud of my new ink.
Another great news is that I'm about to have Mau, one of my best friends from Italy, here in SF!!! He's gonna come next week and you have no idea how I'm excited!!!!!!! He's gonna stay almost 2 weeks and we decided to do a road trip between SoCal: we're going to LA; Arizona to shoot in the Grand Canyon and then straight to Nevada: Las Vegas! CAN'T WAIT!!!! and my 5D Mark ii can't wait too :)

My winter break is almost over... I have 3 more weeks and then back to school for another extra heavy semester... I'm not ready yet, not ready at all... this year was hard and I really need a long vacation, far from everything... but it's not time yet, I'll have to wait for the summer...
Scared to go back to school, but happy at the same time...

3 more weeks of freedom...
I know already they will be too fast...

E.

The Cheater

I don't remember if I told you that I have a new house... 

This is my second week from my new bedroom, a huge bedroom with an amazing victorian style window, tons of natural lights and a nice view on the hills of SF.

I love my new place. It's a pretty good size apt in the heart of Russian Hill (yes I'm back to my old neighborhood), I'm lucky enough to live with a gorgeous person also. My roommate is fantastic, too bad we have such a different schedule and it's kinda hard to spend time together because I really like her. A modern bohemian girl, kinda hippie, kinda vintage, she is pretty, and most important thing, she is super into photography like me! should I ask more?

So now I have a new house, a new great roomie, my new camera, a new tripod (fuck yeah!!), and I'm planning a few new things that I'm gonna tell you later.

The only thing I should do to be kinda happy is to find a new job... I'm so done with that place, I can't waist my time anymore. I can stand it anymore, I'm sorry only for the guys who I work with, but for all the rest I really gotta find a new place... I hate restaurants but here it seems to be the easiest place to make money... 

Now let's talk about photos.

The photo I put on my blog today it's a photo I needed to do to remind myself how I love photography, to remind myself who I am and why I'm here. I'm cheating my Canon with this vintage Nikon but only for this photo :P ... Canon is a true, deep love!

Now I have also to remind myself that I'm a photography student and I have finals exams to prepare.

Crossed fingers.

E.

VANS are fucking great models!

Today was a productive day! 

First of all was my day off and yes I'm kinda happy,  days off are always a good thing, then I spent most of the time taking photos for my school's assignment. My Visualization teacher had the outstanding idea to give us a project  with SHOES as a subject and nothing better was to me working on this photos, I'm kinda crazy about shoes, they are one of the best way to spend money, they are never enough... so I decided to shoot my new Vans, I had to put my shoes in a situation I thought was interesting, so I chose to shoot my feet floating in the air with a pretty awesome background, an explosion of bokeh!!! 

I was thinking about one of the song I love more "Where is my mind?" by Pixies  because I'm always "with your feet in the air and your head on the ground..." .... maybe I'm a hopeless dreamer but I love to live my life this way :)

About all the rest... school is going well, I love it you already know, all the classes are super cool, but Composition... damn it's such a pain in the ass, but they say I have to so let's kick some asses!

Work is getting better.  I quit my second job, it was impossible, 2 jobs plus school, plus homework, plus photos = NO LIFE. So I decided my life was more important than money and now I'm "free" again. At least I have much time to study and that's the most important thing. 

My personal life is still the same... boring... nothing... an empty book... and I don't have time to write anything on it, maybe now it's better, I have to be super focused on my photography life, that's the first thing, then all the rest... also because I'm amazing to wanting always something I can't have. What should I do? ... I like a robot am not a robot, so it's not that simple to figure it out, but I'm working on it :)

E.

                                 

Some other photos I shot today...

Mia - session II.....

...and today I got some color for my tattoo :) as you can see now my arm is like a sausage hot and red, i can barely see the colors... can't wait to see it finally done.. after this session I'm gonna wait a month so the colors will be perfect and then see if I want to add anything else, probably just review some stuff :)
Also Juan Puente one of the best tattoo artist here in SF gave me his Canon V-1 to let me play with a film camera! jesus he's rad!!!!!! It's gonna be hard I'm not that good with film and that camera is so heavy I feel my arms shaking after 5 seconds pointing to shoot, but it's too awesome!

And now I'm here on my bed thinking about something I don't know, now I feel so tired and empty, incomplete again... I swear I hate myself, I hate this part of me.. I don't get why after a beautiful day now i feel like shit... why i can't enjoy this moment, why???
and also i feel even worst because the only person who I'd like to talk with is sleeping, living way too far from me.. and maybe he doesn't really want to listen my damn problems...
The only thing i know is i'd like to stop my mind sometimes, now i feel like crap with no fucking reason and i miss my family, my brother more than anything and i don't' get why everything is happening
i just hate myself now.

new semester here we go!

..and yes i'm back to school!!! last Friday I officially started my second semester at AAU and I'm really happy and satisfied. I had 2 classes the first day: Visualization and Composition for the artist. Visualization is pretty amazing, I'm gonna study what is behind a photo, the concept behind, the idea a photographer wants to show people with his picture and I'm gonna do every week a different project with a different theme, first assignment is about FEAR! pretty awesome, and today i'm going to shoot something around, i already have some ideas.
Composition for the artist is a little pain in the ass. Basically is english. How to be a good writer. Nothing related to photography but i have to take that class for my bachelor..
Other classes I'm going to take are Color Photography and Photoshop and I'm very happy about my schedule this semester they all look interesting and I'm so excited!!!

This week was super extremely busy, but i like a busy life better than stay home and doing nothing. My two jobs are ok, and i hope i can handle them both otherwise I have to choose.. but now I'm doing fine, i still really dislike my girly dressing for Perbacco but I have to live with them.

Last week and was pretty amazing! Adriano, a friend of mine from high school, came here in SF!!! you don't even know how happy i was... it was like going back in time, i met him when i was 14, we grew up together basically, he is one of my closest friend and now he lives in UK so it's not easy to see each other. Being here together was awesome! I'm just sad i have to wait at least 1 year to see him again :( damn distance! I miss my friends sometimes, I'm a selective person, I don't have tons of friends, but few really good ones and yes i do miss 'em a lot, we are all over the world and Skype is the only way to see each other and talk.. not enough though..

By the way, I'm off today, no work! just relaxing and taking pics, and tomorrow the same :)
thank god i need some rest :)

peace.

..all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy..

...this is almost my face right now after I spent the entire day on my books, studying for the midterm, now I'm totally powerless, my eyes are so dry that I can feel my contacts everytime I close and open them, I didnt have time to eat anything, just breakfast this morning, and after all I feel I'm not ready for tomorrow, I'm scared and I dont know really what I'm going to do, it's the first time for me, the only thing I know is that the midterm is damn important... almost like the final exam...
Tomorrow I have Fundamentals of Photography test, Digital Photography on Thursday and History of Film on Friday... History of Photo and Concept will be next week... I'm praying, eventhough I dont know who... just hoping that my brain it's going to work properly tomorrow.
This time of my life is not the best I remember, too many things to do, too many things spinning on my head, too many questions without an answer, I feel like I'm walking alone and I'm fighting for something I'll never have, maybe...
why people prefer playing and hiding their feelings instead of talking to each other and live for real???? I dont understand why and it makes me feel sick!!!!!!
I feel those stupid butterflies in my stomach, but they dont fly, they are biting and scratching me and I cant do anything, everything I do it's not enough...

Please wish me luck for this week :) I need it..
and now I think I need to eat...

E.

Mad World...

I'm still alive :)
finally after 20 days i found some time to write a post on my blog!
My life is going too fast and im always too busy i cant take care of my little diary as id like to...but now im here... so...
my student life is great, i love AAU and even though it's pretty tough im doing all my best, stuying hard to keep my goals, this is all i want and all i have to do, now the most important thing is thinking about my future! 3 days ago i did my first assignment for Fundamentals of Photography and i got an A+ ... you should look at my smiley face at that moment, my teacher told me a lot of great things and i felt soo happy i was almost crying lol and after a good grade my motivation is huge! I'm born to take pics and i dont need anything else :)
My personal life is pretty good...
My sentimental life sucks...
i tried, i was almost happy again.. but i lost it... dont know why, i didnt get it, im so disappointed, so empty, maybe it's true.. im too self absorbed to figure out what other people feels.. it's the meanest thing somebody told me.. cant stop thinking about that, about who told me that.. but what can i do? I'm busy, maybe too busy, my school comes first, i must think about my future, and im kicking my ass to do it.. im just sad because i thought it could works, but it didnt... and i lost somebody i really liked after long time... now im trying to turn the page, but my mind is still there...
But the show must go on... so i'm still running, and running as fast as i can.. i have to leave out all the rest right now, maybe it sounds selfish but i dont have any choice. Me first, my life, my school, my future...got shit to do... then im gonna find time to think about somebody else... but yeah, i miss you... hope to find you again in another time of my life...
Cant never stop thinking about that day... we were sitting in front of each others, looking at each others, and we couldnt do anything, it was the wrong moment, in the wrong place... we were singing that song... together... we were so close... and so far... we were so wrong but it was one of the best moment i can remember...
the more you cant have something, the more you want something...