weird thoughts

I was thinking... why in SF most of the guys are crazy for mustache??? actually I like'em too.. but here there is an obsession with mustache.. I saw mustache on guys, glasses, cups, t-shirt, patches, tattoos, girls with fake mustaches.. well.. who knows.. this is only one of my weird thoughts...

Finally I'm on spring break!!!
Actually it's not the best spring break ever, because of this shitty weather first of all and also because I'm still working... so it's not a real vacation :( but whatever... I can sleep a little bit and it means a lot now...
I decided to buy something special to me!!!!! A new pair of inline skates yay!!!! after loooong time I'll start skating again, I'm so happy about that, it was a big passion for me, and now it's time to do something special and think only about me again. I cant wait to run as a crazy with my new skates with Nicole... the ocean, the wind, the sun... so Californian!!!!!
I have to buy also a lighting set for a new assignment for school... Im gonna build a studio in my bedroom hahah.. but I'm still looking for something cheap, and as you know anything about photography is cheap (goddamnit!!)
I have few days to work on 2 different projects and I have no ideas at all!!! OMG it's frustrating.. sometimes i'd like to do only what I like.. but now photography is not just a passion, it's also my job and what I'm studying and somethimes it's not that fun...

I need to say GRAZIE to my mom for the beautiful photo she sent me, a photo with my family and my grandma...
Nonna mi manchi tanto, spero tu mi stia sempre accanto... ovunque tu sia... sei sempre nel mio cuore...

...and now I have to think about photos... about me... and that's it.
no more time for kids..

E.

Redemption

Let's start over again

Why can't we start it over again?

Just let us start it over again

And we'll be good
This time we'll get it...
We'll get it right

It's our last chance to forgive ourselves

..all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy..

...this is almost my face right now after I spent the entire day on my books, studying for the midterm, now I'm totally powerless, my eyes are so dry that I can feel my contacts everytime I close and open them, I didnt have time to eat anything, just breakfast this morning, and after all I feel I'm not ready for tomorrow, I'm scared and I dont know really what I'm going to do, it's the first time for me, the only thing I know is that the midterm is damn important... almost like the final exam...
Tomorrow I have Fundamentals of Photography test, Digital Photography on Thursday and History of Film on Friday... History of Photo and Concept will be next week... I'm praying, eventhough I dont know who... just hoping that my brain it's going to work properly tomorrow.
This time of my life is not the best I remember, too many things to do, too many things spinning on my head, too many questions without an answer, I feel like I'm walking alone and I'm fighting for something I'll never have, maybe...
why people prefer playing and hiding their feelings instead of talking to each other and live for real???? I dont understand why and it makes me feel sick!!!!!!
I feel those stupid butterflies in my stomach, but they dont fly, they are biting and scratching me and I cant do anything, everything I do it's not enough...

Please wish me luck for this week :) I need it..
and now I think I need to eat...

E.

Mad World...

I'm still alive :)
finally after 20 days i found some time to write a post on my blog!
My life is going too fast and im always too busy i cant take care of my little diary as id like to...but now im here... so...
my student life is great, i love AAU and even though it's pretty tough im doing all my best, stuying hard to keep my goals, this is all i want and all i have to do, now the most important thing is thinking about my future! 3 days ago i did my first assignment for Fundamentals of Photography and i got an A+ ... you should look at my smiley face at that moment, my teacher told me a lot of great things and i felt soo happy i was almost crying lol and after a good grade my motivation is huge! I'm born to take pics and i dont need anything else :)
My personal life is pretty good...
My sentimental life sucks...
i tried, i was almost happy again.. but i lost it... dont know why, i didnt get it, im so disappointed, so empty, maybe it's true.. im too self absorbed to figure out what other people feels.. it's the meanest thing somebody told me.. cant stop thinking about that, about who told me that.. but what can i do? I'm busy, maybe too busy, my school comes first, i must think about my future, and im kicking my ass to do it.. im just sad because i thought it could works, but it didnt... and i lost somebody i really liked after long time... now im trying to turn the page, but my mind is still there...
But the show must go on... so i'm still running, and running as fast as i can.. i have to leave out all the rest right now, maybe it sounds selfish but i dont have any choice. Me first, my life, my school, my future...got shit to do... then im gonna find time to think about somebody else... but yeah, i miss you... hope to find you again in another time of my life...
Cant never stop thinking about that day... we were sitting in front of each others, looking at each others, and we couldnt do anything, it was the wrong moment, in the wrong place... we were singing that song... together... we were so close... and so far... we were so wrong but it was one of the best moment i can remember...
the more you cant have something, the more you want something...