weird thoughts

I was thinking... why in SF most of the guys are crazy for mustache??? actually I like'em too.. but here there is an obsession with mustache.. I saw mustache on guys, glasses, cups, t-shirt, patches, tattoos, girls with fake mustaches.. well.. who knows.. this is only one of my weird thoughts...

Finally I'm on spring break!!!
Actually it's not the best spring break ever, because of this shitty weather first of all and also because I'm still working... so it's not a real vacation :( but whatever... I can sleep a little bit and it means a lot now...
I decided to buy something special to me!!!!! A new pair of inline skates yay!!!! after loooong time I'll start skating again, I'm so happy about that, it was a big passion for me, and now it's time to do something special and think only about me again. I cant wait to run as a crazy with my new skates with Nicole... the ocean, the wind, the sun... so Californian!!!!!
I have to buy also a lighting set for a new assignment for school... Im gonna build a studio in my bedroom hahah.. but I'm still looking for something cheap, and as you know anything about photography is cheap (goddamnit!!)
I have few days to work on 2 different projects and I have no ideas at all!!! OMG it's frustrating.. sometimes i'd like to do only what I like.. but now photography is not just a passion, it's also my job and what I'm studying and somethimes it's not that fun...

I need to say GRAZIE to my mom for the beautiful photo she sent me, a photo with my family and my grandma...
Nonna mi manchi tanto, spero tu mi stia sempre accanto... ovunque tu sia... sei sempre nel mio cuore...

...and now I have to think about photos... about me... and that's it.
no more time for kids..

E.

Redemption

Let's start over again

Why can't we start it over again?

Just let us start it over again

And we'll be good
This time we'll get it...
We'll get it right

It's our last chance to forgive ourselves

..all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy..

...this is almost my face right now after I spent the entire day on my books, studying for the midterm, now I'm totally powerless, my eyes are so dry that I can feel my contacts everytime I close and open them, I didnt have time to eat anything, just breakfast this morning, and after all I feel I'm not ready for tomorrow, I'm scared and I dont know really what I'm going to do, it's the first time for me, the only thing I know is that the midterm is damn important... almost like the final exam...
Tomorrow I have Fundamentals of Photography test, Digital Photography on Thursday and History of Film on Friday... History of Photo and Concept will be next week... I'm praying, eventhough I dont know who... just hoping that my brain it's going to work properly tomorrow.
This time of my life is not the best I remember, too many things to do, too many things spinning on my head, too many questions without an answer, I feel like I'm walking alone and I'm fighting for something I'll never have, maybe...
why people prefer playing and hiding their feelings instead of talking to each other and live for real???? I dont understand why and it makes me feel sick!!!!!!
I feel those stupid butterflies in my stomach, but they dont fly, they are biting and scratching me and I cant do anything, everything I do it's not enough...

Please wish me luck for this week :) I need it..
and now I think I need to eat...

E.