love is a losing game

"One I wish I never played
Oh what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game"

This is what Amy Winehouse said in one of her song, one of my favorite song of Amy...

Never like in these days I can tell how it's true.. love is a losing game..

after 3 months with no talking and no seeing each others you are here again, why?

I don't understand, really. I don't get people, I think I don't get life.. Now you're moving, and 4 days before you're leaving you are here again.. and i'm so stupid, so vulnerable, so in love with you after all, after the bad words, after the bad moments, after the magic moments, after our up and down, 2 months of love, two of hate... why? why we are still here? I don't get us..

the only thing I know is how everything become invisible when I'm with you, all the rest lose meaning, nothing matters, I feel I could live with anything else...

what should I do? I'm not ready for your move, I can't think we have 3 more days, only 3 more days.. I wish I could keep you here with me I wish I could be so strong to change you and change what is going on, but I can't.. I can't, and it hurts I almost can't breathe.

i think i love you..and i'm losing you.

Mistakes

I always say: God is in the food... after this photo I'm sure you'll agree with me...

And there's nothing better than good, fat, sweet, amazing food, to recover our soul pain. And that's what i ate last sunday for our roommates brunch, awesome.

Sunday night i saw the only person i didn't think to see, the only person I didn't want to see.. and he was right in front of me.. no words, a damn fast look at each others and then nothing. What are we?: nothing. what were we?: nothing.

I made a huge mistake, but i don't have regrets, I did everything I could, I believed for a moment he was the right one, I was wrong, but it doesn't matter, I'm happy to make mistakes, it means I'm alive and I have feelings and I use my heart more than my brain.. but now I really need a break. I need a time to relax and recover. And I will be fixed, again. I can do it :)

I can be the cold and cynical Ele that sometimes I love.

I'm not scared I know, it will be just for a small period of time..

I was talking about mistakes, well I realized almost 2 years ago I chose the wrong cousin..

it's nice talking to you in the middle of the night. It's more than nice teasing you, but it's damn annoying being so far.. specially when you feel so hungry.... right?

Time to sleep, hope to feel better tomorrow.

E.